Isaan is the northeastern region of Thailand, one of the country's most rural and agricultural areas, and the home region of many of the Thai women in these stories, even if they later ended up living in Bangkok, Chiang Mai, or Pattaya. It has historically been poorer than central Thailand, which explains why so many families rely on money sent home by daughters or wives who married a foreigner. Understanding Isaan helps make sense of the real context behind decisions that, seen from the outside, are sometimes judged without knowing the full story — from the dowry to family financial pressure.
I was 60 when Kop, 37 years younger than me, brought me to her cousin's wedding in a village in Isaan. I met her parents, slept apart from her out of respect for her family's rules, and watched a full traditional Thai wedding, dowry included, feeling for a few hours like part of a family I barely knew.
At 39, an Australian who considered himself a seasoned Thailand traveller met a girl over a game of pool in a Pattaya bar. Ten perfect days, a golf tournament in Indonesia, visits to her family in Isaan. All good until six months of distance for work uncovered that the Scottish boyfriend she said she'd left had never actually gone anywhere.
A 41-year-old British man went in two weeks from a Soi 4 fling to talking dowry and house renovations. He almost sent 400,000 baht. He did not.